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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I gotta say, my favorite little gem is an alley behind Nordrevej, where graffiti speaks louder than words. It's like a tag that screams "Look, life is art!" and who am I to argue? I can almost hear Sorrentino laughing, “Is this beautiful? Yes, it is!” even if I mutter, "Stupid, fat hobbit!" when life gets too pompous.

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